How I feel today...

As I sit here writing this, my husband of thirty one years is currently on his way to Sturgis South Dakota. He left with some "friends" very early Friday morning. They are crossing the country on their Harley Davidsons with the wind in their faces and the cares of daily life a mere blip in their brains. By his side is Thing. For all those who have read my blog before, Thing is the abbreviated term for Fat Grandma Face. It became to taxing to write such a lengthy description and Thing seem to fit not only the emotions I was feeling but the perplexed look I'm sure I must get when in its presence. I remeber the last time I did see Thing, I really didn't recognize it at first. I was busy admiring the outfit it had on, it was dressed very nicely, befitting for a sales representative. But as my eyes wondered toward it's face I remember thinking...huh...how nice they hire older people for sales as well. I thought maybe this person was in her early sixties ( Thing is 50ish) and you usually don't see that with marketers in the field. It wasn't until it turned toward me that I realized what I was actually looking at. Hence the look of perlexion on my face. I guess when in a mid life crisis you go blind as well. It's funny  because Thing possess all the issues that my husband always had to bring up to me when he saw women Harley riders. He never liked tattoos on womens inner forearms, Thing has them on both. It really botherd him if a woman had a roll around the middle that hung over their pants, Thing has that. And he always commented if a woman had large saddle bags on their thighs and well you guessed it...Thing really has those. Now I won't lie I do carry a little extra thigh, the Italian curse or blessing, it depends on who you talk to. But if you can tuck a change of clothing into the bulge on the side of your leg then I think maybe it's time to cut down the cheese cake intake. Someone might accuse me of sounding bitter...you think? I guess this is just the next phase of whatever this is that one goes through when knocked over the head with a baseball bat. My husband was angry with me about a week or so ago. Apparently several people at work had come to him after I had posted on facebook a line about how I was feeling that day. I explained to him that as a writer, it helps to get things out, I feel better. He accused me of airing my dirty laundry in public. The way I see it though, he was really angry because I aired his dirty laundry in public. The mighty always fall the hardest don't they? I'm so tired of feeling like there is something in the room that's out of place. I long for the day when the routine was mundane, the weekend exciting and my relationship easy. I miss the little things the most. Getting up on a Sunday morning and going out to breakfast, it doesn't quite work the same on your own. Coming home from work too tired to cook and just running up to the local Olive Garden to share a dinner and some wine. Once again, not so much fun alone. Popping popcorn and laying around late on a Saturday afternoon and watching a movie. Okay that one I can do, but popcorn is always better when shared. And then there's the time of night when you crawl into bed and scooch over to each other. You take a moment to get comfortable and then inevitabley have some sort of conversation about future plans, the days events or the funny thing that one of the kids or grandkid had said on the phone that day. You stay close for awhile nesteled in each others arms until sleep has almost taken you away, then you gentley kiss, say I love you and move over a bit to your little space of the bed. Maybe bitter was the wrong word...