I was sitting on the couch this morning, looking out of the window and admiring the sunshine. I don't know why this occurred to me, but I started to reflect on my last name ... Bush. This being my married name, when the divorce was final, I contemplated changing it. I figured that since I was born a Guidice, that's who I am and that's who I should go back to being. But I realized something this morning, that's not entirely true. Yes, I was born with that name, but it no longer stands alone in making me, well, me.
I was once told that I was Bush longer than a Guidice,that's not true either. I have always been a Guidice, and always will be. It stood next to my new name when I got married, it didn't disappear, it couldn't. It was me, it always will be me. But Bush isn't just a given or taken name either. Bush is my sister's for the past 36 years, it's my daughters when they were born and it's a part of who I've been for a very long time. In some ways, it helped to define to the world who I am today and who I continue to be. Vicki-Ann Bush, author. Vicki-Ann Bush, mother. Vicki-Ann Bush, grandma, Vicki-Ann Bush, sister and for many years, Vicki-Ann Bush, wife.. I've realized that I can't walk away from it, it's with me and it's a part of me that shared some of the most important years of my life. So no more running or trying to change it. I am today, both a Guidice and a Bush. And whatever the future brings, in my heart I will always carry both.